Kids Room Tips - My 4 yr. old is scared of the dark/ his room....?

My 4 yr. old is scared of the dark/ his room....?

Ok well to sum this up quick...My fiance, her 2 kids and I just moved into a new place. Her 4 yr. old son has never had his own room and is really scarred of it. He is so used to sleeping in the same room as his 6 yr old sister. Well my fiance is really sick lately and I have been doing most of the stuff with and for the kids. Which I dont mind at all! But I was just curious to know some things or tips to help him adjust. We already have 2 night lights in his room and this morning when I woke up @ 5:45 am he went into his sisters room and they were sitting up talking. He had all the lights on and he said he was scarred. I have slept with him in his room when he came into ours in the middle of the night. Any ideas? Thank you for your time and help!!

Public Comments

A small flashlight. Maybe create a ritual for cleansing the room of boogeyguys, something fun and animated. Tell him it worked for your dad when he was little, and it worked for you, and you're sure it'll work for him. (you didn't tell him sooner because you thought he could manage the situation, but you're ready to share now)
Maybe leave a landing light on, nightlights are a bit dim.Buy him a torch so he can shine it around his room to reassure himself there are no monsters there.I found leaving the radio on quiet in the room helped my son when he went through that stage.I left classical music radio on for him which was soothing.Let him choose a teddy that will protect him too.And read a nice story to him before he goes to sleep.Best of luck, he will outgrow it.
One woman I know had a child who was afraid of monsters. The solution? She filled an old window cleaner bottle with water and labeled it "Monster Spray." "This will rid your room of any old monster," she told her child, "and send it back to its own mommy and daddy." The "Monster Spray' sat on a bedside table to provide constant reassurance.If fear is the issue, asks your child, "What would help you feel safer?" Tell them that one of your main roles as a parent is to help them feel safe. Create a plan together. This could be turning on a fan if they are afraid of noises or turning on a light if they are afraid of the dark. Leave the door open if they are insecure or provide a comforting teddy bear to increase feelings of security. Perhaps you could allow the family dog to sleep in your child's room. Or tell them I'll Check on you every half hour, "So you'll know I'm here,"
You could use a baby moniter just to let him know your really close.
don't sleep with him. this is making it worse. He is not able to deal with it on his own and is now dependent on you or his sister. My son was afraid of monsters so we took a spray bottle and sprayed the room before he went to sleep with the monster spray. It helped but ultimately we had to tell him if he didn't stay in his room we were turning off the lights and he would have to stay there. I turned the lights of one time for 5min and never had a problem again.
Keep in mind that this move may be creating some insecurities for him. So here are some tips. 1. Walk around the house with him and let him help you secure it.. Draw the curtains. 2. The night lights are good. 3. Read to him a story that calms him and afterwards hold him close and pray with him. Pray for angels to surround your home and his bed and keep you safe at night. This teaches him about faith and at the same time is allows him to feel safe. These are just some ideas that can work.
Spend some time with him in his room playing. Helping him see that it is a fun place to be. Our daughter felt better when we let her pick out some paint and painted it the color she wanted. (if in a rental I understand not doable). But if there is anything special you could do to fix his room up that might help. Letting his sister sleep in his room a couple times may help as well -like a 'slumber party'. Also, don't punish him by sending him to his room, that makes it a bad place to be rather than a comfort.
The fact that you have just moved into a new place coupled with the change of having suddenly to have to sleep alone is a big and frightening adjustment at this age ( or any age ) and is very overwhelming to the little guy. It will take time for him to get used to the new place and to his room but once he does you shouldnt have any problems. However if it persists i would suggest lying with him until he goes to sleep or allowing him to go to sleep in his sisters room and transfering him through to his own room once he is asleep. As to being afraid of the dark my son is turning four and has suddenly developed the same thing recently. I think it started after watching Gremlins at a friends house ( take note scary movies effect kids big time). I think at this age their imaginations tend to run away with them and as they have a difficuilt time distinguishing between reality and fantasy ( despite trying to explain things to them) this installs fear of the dark and other things. Good luck
my son was like this one his mum gave him pictures of jesus and mary to make him feel safe im not sure if that will help though
The chances are good that he's become accustomed to the sound of his sister's breathing, and that soothes him. Try replacing that sound with a cd of soothing music set on repeat (portable cd players are really cheap these days). I used "music to dream by" for my son... that's what it's designed for, and there's no gaps between tracks. It's very calming classical. The other thing i did when my son kept coming into my bed (he'd get cold, or just wake up) is put a mattress on the floor in my bedroom. He was allowed into my bed for a cuddle for a couple of minutes, then I would tuck him into his bed in my room. It meant that i had taken away the reward for waking up. Last thing was an electric blanket. I'd set it on the lowest setting to keep his bed warm. If you're not comfortable with an electric blanket, try wrapping a wheat bag in a snuggly blanket and tucking it into bed with him when you go to bed (i'm presuming you go to bed after he does). Perhaps make a bit of a game of it... get the kids some cheap walkie talkies that they can speak to each other through the night. Ok one more idea, just got it! Use a baby monitor, but have the receiver in his room, and the transmitter in the girl's room. This way, he still hears her and doesn't feel so alone.! Anyway, hope you get a solution soon. There's nothing worse than a kid who won't sleep!
This is normal, i am 16 and if alone i wont sleep without my light on. Its just one of those things.
I salute you for handling all the matters while your fiancee is sick. As for her 4 yr old son .... I think you need to give him more time to adjust with a new condition, i.e. having his own room. He is used to sleeping with his sister for long time, so a sudden change, especially for a young child, it would be a huge problem. You can ask him to sleep in his room and accompany him for some times until he falls asleep (I know it would need lots of patient and care here). Tell him that you'll do this temporarily. Makes a deal with him about the period of time. If he likes the light on, let him have it. But along with passage of time, you change the light wattage slightly lower until he can adjust with it, then change it again to lower wattage. You can ask him about things like music or something else that can help him to sleep in his room without being scared. If he wakes up and feels scared, he can knock your room and you'll accompany him back to his room. Everytime he does a good progress for staying and sleeping in his room longer without going out of his room, give him a praise and maybe a reward based on your judgement. I know it will need extra time to overcome this. however if you get the good result of your efforts ..I'm sure it will give a good credit, not just before your fiancee but also her children ...and last but not least ..will make you proud of yourself. Good luck and May God bless you .....
My 5 years old and 2 1/2 year old share a room and i still have to leave the hall light on-for my 5 year old not his younger brother!!! night lights weren`t bright enough,i have the hall light on all night and his bedroom door and ours has to be wide open otherwise he gets frightened,i don`t worry about it it`s something he`ll grow out of eventually!! Your fiancee son has a lot to cope with-new house,no longer sharing a room,must be hard for him and he`ll need alot of reassurances,good luck
Have you tried in addition to the night lights a flash light? some thing he can move around and shine on the things that are scaring him. Tell him it is a magic light sword, and it will instantly kill anything that is lurking in the shadows when he shines it one them. Mind you this will only work if that's what he is afraid of. Most likely it is that he just does not like to be alone. he is used to the noise of a another person in his room with him. not matter how subtle the sleeping sounds are they are still there. Try having him pick out a CD soothing music or nature sounds that he like and play it quietly at bed time. The extra sounds may help him not feel so alone.