Kids Room Tips
What should I do to avoid fighting in front of the kids?
We fight sometimes and the other day we let it slip in front of our 2 yr old son. I feel so bad,what can I do to avoid fighting in front of my kids? do we have to walk out of the room everytime we start to get angry at each other?any tips? thank you.
Public Comments
- try theese: Turn around and walk away if you think you'll have a hard time dealing with your urge to fight. Decide that you don't care if your partner sets your skirt on fire. Recognize that when you don't walk away, you are attacking your kids, putting your need to explode ahead of their well-being and peace of mind. After you walk away, write down everything you're thinking and feeling, so you can give it to each other later and discuss — when the kids aren't around. Then, get one of the kids and tell them three reasons that you love them and think they're special. It takes 100 "atta girls" to erase one "you're not worth the trouble." Decide on a visual cue with your spouse — holding up a card, for instance — to signal that a fight is starting and it's time to nip it in the bud. If you're going to have a discussion, take it somewhere private and conduct it hand-in-hand with your mate. Deal with your partner closely and personally. It makes it easier to communicate, and much harder to argue. Take the word "anger" out of your vocabulary. (Words like "steamed" or "ticked off" aren't allowed either.) Instead, replace it with what is at the root of the anger — possibly fear, hurt or frustration (or all three). Express your needs to your partner. He/She may not already know what those needs are. Be articulate. State what you need plainly and specifically. Remain calm. Work out the problem. Cooperation, not competition, is the idea here, so take some time to calm down before finding a solution to the issue. Share a moment of peace to reaffirm your bond once a resolution or decision has been reached. This might be, for example, a silent 60-second hug, or looking into one another's eyes for a minute.
- tell the child to go play in another room, or lower your voices. i feel it's not right to allow a child to witness arguments, but sometimes when they see how you handle this type of situation in an adult-like manner, they will learn from this in a positive light. it shows how you would be able to negotiate, but remember, monkey see, monkey do.
- When you feel angry you should walk away. As gets your child gets older you can explain it to them. Being a parent is not easy so we are bound to mess up sometimes..
- I used to struggle with this.... the guilt was awful... my kids would cry and cry because mommy and daddy were yelling.. one day I realized that they had stopped being scared because they had become SO acustomed to the fighting... I was mortified... It took Jesus for me and my husband to put ALL that behind us and now we hardly have any disagreements.. I have no doubt that the arguments our children witnessed have had a major effect on their conflict management and that they will forever remember the fear they felt. Get out of the house, walk away no matter how hard it is! I find that after an hour or two my physicological response to anger has dissipated... Get to PRAYING, get the book "power of a praying wife/hsuband" and use it.. I know you didn't ask for religion.. but you did ask for tips.... and this is what we had to do... I'm not joking iether, it's been two years and there have been NO arguments.. we were literally delivered from this.... thank you Jesus...
