Kids Room Tips

Any advice?

Ok, so I have been with my husband for almost 14 years now, I have a daughter that is almost 14 and another that just turned 11. Yet I feel alone alot. I feel like I am a maid and that noone else has to do anything around this house to help me out. Don't get me wrong, I love my family with all my heart and soul. However the little things are starting to bug me! For example, we are remodeling our house so the kids go to my mom's after supper and there homework is done cause we have no running water. I have to remind them nightly they need to get there homework done! There rooms are pig pens! I try to make deals with them about spending an hour a day up there till they are clean! dont work! This morning I get up and the puppy had peed and pooped on the floor, the trash was over full and some tinfoil had been chewed up on the living room rug. This all happened before my husband left for work cause the dog was in my room with the door shut when he left, but yet he left it for me! HELP!!!!!

Public Comments

1. You need to share your frustration with your husband, but don't be confrontational about it. Sit him down, and tell him what's on your mind. You are partners in this relationship, and you shouldn't have to bear all of these burdens (related to him, the kids, the dog, etc) on your own. But when you do this, also make sure you listen to what he has to say. It should be a conversation, not a rant. With regard to the kids, I'm a huge proponent of tough love. If you haven't already been using this method, it might be tough to start now (especially with teenage/pre-teen girls). However, you have to remind them who the mom is. You don't need to cut deals - it's your house, your rules. They've gotta understand that. In summary, communicate with your husband, and remind your daughters that you're still the only grown woman in the house.
2. Leave it all (except the dog mess) close all bedroom doors so you cant see the mess. Sit a chill 2 day and let the mess pile up. If anyone asks why it is so untidy? tell them its their mess and that they are all old enough to give a helping hand. You should not be solely responsible for cleaning up. You all live together and make the mess together therefore you should all take responsiblity for the cleaning together. Believe me, when you husband cant find anything coz its under all his junk he will soon realise that putting things away is a much better option that leaving it to you.
3. This is what my did, to get us to do chores and homework. Get a billboard, chart a chart of who has what chore. Everytime they do what they're suppose to, they get a golden star or a green star, pending on, if they listened right away, and/or if they complained. Red star if they didnt listen, got in trouble, or complained about doing the chores. Each star means something; At the end of the week, have a gifts or something they would like, something small. Because pending on their stars add up, Golden star=can be so many points, Green star=less but still enough points, Red star=no points. Add them up, and make a score goal for them to have. They choose either, use their points at the end of the week to get something small or safe their points at the end of the month, and get something special. This will teach them not only responsibility of their own actions, but also they will learn that with good behavior, good results will come
4. I'd of raised hell and had everyone scrambling around to clean up the messes.
5. I think I am not the right person to answer but I really want to say something. I felt really bad after reading your problem. I can completely understand your problem. I feel that your main problem is you feel lonely and I dont think that you go out of home either. Your kids are very small to understand and your husband is too busy to listen to you. RIGHT... You are feeling alone because you are unable to give some time to yourself whatever you want to do. You are just busy in cleaning the house. Do one thing, Why dont you take out a day (may be sunday) go somewhere out for a picnic with your family. OR Keep a servant at home (24 X 7) for cleaning the house (Simple). Then you can take out some time for yourself. And you will be able to do whatever you feel like to do.
6. oh my stars and stripes uyou are in a mess here.. one dont bargain with your kids,, you are not their friend quote, un quote,; you are their mother!! . you are not the maid either.. this selfish behavior has to stop and you my dear friend have to set your mind on geting irt done,, one . family conference first with your husband. and then with the kids ,, two you cannot let this continue or all warfare will break out and you are going to be the loser.... you love your husband and that is good but he has to realize marriage is teamwork and both parties have to pull together or the team loses . YOUR HUSBAND which in actuality means biblically ;; house-band is they key ingrediant THAT IS TO BIND THE HOUSEHOLD together and if he ias an absintee or neglectful of his responsibilities the house starts to unwind and those in it too will beome ssparated . A household has to have orginization jus tlike a corporation in order for it to survive and prosper . a corporation doesnt exist on paper alone and a family unit that cant agree is going to disolve if u dont have rules of conduct. . sorry but the girls are to old to leave the place a mess and this is mostly your fault here!! IRRESPONSIBILITY and selfishness lead to disharmony and later resentfulness , . HUBBY HAS TO STEP UP TO the plate here too and you have to talk to him not in anger but out of love.. HE HAS TO BE SHOWED you are at the maximum stress leve l here and he has to hepl out,, .. IF continue like this you will be resentful, PRAY about it like esther and divine wisdom will help u aproach this problem peacefully but attentively.. my brother and i had to keep our rooms neat and clean it too. . , this is up to the both of u here to agree here on. bro murray .
7. All full-time moms feel the same way. Everything is getting to the nerves, especially if the family members are not cooperating. You better talk to your husband and your children, too. Let them understand your situation and let them realize household chores is a non-stop work by giving them their parts to do, especially during weekends. Give yourself a day-off. (tho I know it's difficult because any work not done today will be added for tomorrow's)..anyway, JUST TRY!!