Kids Room Tips

Paternal Problems?

I've never had a great relationship with my dad. He's always been rude and condescending to us (myself and my sister, who's a few years older than I am) and just downright mean. But over the last few months, he's gotten MUCH worse. Last night I made dinner (grilled steak and onions with roasted potatoes and then raspberry pie for dessert) and he griped about everything. He said "Damn kid, you can't do anything right!" and left the table because his steak wasn't cooked right (even though HE took his steak off the grill when he wanted to) and left the room in a fit. Then today he started yelling at me because I "didn't paint worth a damn"--we just finished a kitchen remodel and are now painting. I primed and painted every wall in the entire kitchen exactly the way he showed me to. He doesn't appreciate anything I do. He flat out tells me that I am worthless. I am sick of it, he never quits. When I tell him (politely) to knock it off, he yells at me to "be a man". He's a chauvinist pig! He's mad at me because of everything. He blames it all on me. It isn't because of stress at work--he works a standard 40 hour week at a job he loves, and he makes a really good pay ($35/hour). I've talked to my mom about it and she just blows it off too. Last night after he went to work, I told her that I am getting really sick of how he is treating me and that I would appreciate it if she would talk with him about it (because he doesn't listen to me) and she just said "Don't badmouth your father." and left. She's oblivious to the problem. I'm 17 and will be a senior in the fall, so I have another year here before I go off to college. What can I do to deal with this for the next year before I lose my mind? It's just that nothing I do is good enough. I make As in school and the rare A-/B+ and then he gets pissed off, and when my sister (who made Bs and Cs) flunks or gets a D he blows it off. A big limb fell off our tree last week in a tornado and he told me right after it happened to go out and chop it up (the tornado sirens were still sounding and we had live high voltage powerlines laying in our yard).

Public Comments

1. your just a stupid kid. respect your father
2. Come live with me in Ca. You sound like such a sweetheart. First of all, and I am not trying to be rude, but does your Dad know, or have you told him that you are gay? He is trying to reverse your gaydom, and is in deniel and therefore is trying to break your gay spirit. He's a grouchy person, and your a happy people pleaser. Get busy this year with A.) A part-time job. B.) Get invloved with a school program, like drama or debate team. C.) Make an attempt (don't use Mom) to talk to your Dad about all the mean things, and do yourself a favor and have them written down, if not scripted. By the way, I may be way off base, but you have skills when it comes to writing. The way you express yourself...consider submitting some samples to your school paper, or you local city paper. I would love to have such a sweet son like you, so keep your head up, you have a lot to offer this world. So if I have somehow offended you and you are not gay I truly am sorry. Take care and e-mail me direct if you want to correspond.
3. Both of my parents are like this. They were like this with me since I was a child so I know how your feeling. It's way past agrivating when you have parents that are like this. Never satisfied with anything you do for them, always complaining, and never appreciating the help they do get from you. Me I got stubborn, and refused to do anything for my parents because they never appreciated what I did do for them. No matter if I did it the exact way they wanted me to, or not it was never good enough so finally I snapped, and told them I wasn't doing anything for them again that I had enough. They of course didn't like that I got mouthy, but I was soooooooo tired of it so it was either speak my mind, or throw something at someone at this point. I'm 25, and they still try to control me, and get this way with me. You learn to block out their B**ching eventually. I think the only thing you can do is try your best to ignore his complaining, and not care if what you do is good enough. As long as it's good enough in your eyes it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, or says. I think it's their way of trying to toughen you up, but all it really does is irritate you, and make you feel less confident in yourself which is why it's best to just ignore it. If you have friends you could stay with, or something until your finished with high school then you could always leave. A friend of mine left her family at the age of 15, and has been living on her own since then so at 17 you could definitely do it if it's really too much for you to handle. Hope things work out for you :)
4. Sorry You need hugs. (((Busta)))